Sunday 4 August 2013

A Bundle of Contradictions

​​ Everything about me is Dormant.
I am Lazy. I like to sleep.
I like doing Nothing.
I HATE doing stuff for other people.
But sometimes I love making somebody happy.
I love being Unpredictable.
Everything about me is Dynamic.
Kaleidoscopic. Incessant. Carefree.
I am Restless.
I get bored very easily.
I lose interest very soon.
But sometimes I insist on learning difficult things,
And then I stick by my decision.

I am Scared. I hide behind a mask.
I am not confident. I am Insecure.
I HATE myself.
I HATE being ridiculed.
But at least I know I’ll never do this to other people.
I am Ecstatic!
I can carry off anything with ease.
I can look Good. I FEEL good.
I ADORE myself. I am Beautiful.
I live everybody. Everybody loves me.

I HATE the Night-time.
When owls hoot. Or when dogs howl.
I clutch my blanket and wait for the Sun
To spread its light…
I AM the Night.
I wail with the wolf.
I am one with the stars.
The night engulfs me in a blanket of Nothingness.
The night swallows my fears.

I am Unsure. I am Terrified.
What if I were to die in the next second?
Fear grips me.
I am Clueless about what is going to happen next.
I live in the moment.
I Enjoy myself.

I make rules for myself.
I do not follow them.
I do not like living a routine.
I feel Inhuman.
But I have some unconscious Laws.
Strict Laws.
I abide by them faithfully.
They are the very essence of my being.

The world scares me.
The world is Big.
Full of strong, confident people.
I am very Small, Insignificant.
I am Nobody.
I am Suffocated. Strangled. Choked.
I cannot be myself.
I am full of Hope.
I am Limitless.
I am Infinite.
I am Me…


Sukriti Sekhri
The Book Club, SRCC

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